It’s so incredibly crazy that this last month has gone by in what literally feels like a blink. With less than a week left of school, and less than 2 weeks until the end of my THIRD year of college, it is very clear that this train is not stopping anytime soon…
… too bad it took me three years to realize that! But in the midst of everything, with so much happening around me at once (mostly by my own design, I am well aware), all of a sudden I lost that sense of reality… why am I doing this? What’s the point?
It’s almost disheartening, because all of these crazy detailed (yes I know 5 years down the road I will regret this) things I have to memorize, stress about small details for events that are all about big details, and the moments that just all seem to fly by seem to do just that- fly by without any sense of direction of purpose… it just all happens.
But every once in a while, it’s worth taking a step back and realizing, that actually, you are doing things for a reason. Sometimes that reason isn’t clear now, and I’m sure the reasoning for half of my craziness won’t be explained for a long time to come, but it’s good knowing that there is one.
The impending sense of not going anywhere creeps up every once in a while, but interestingly enough, Jer 29:11 reminds me that it’s useless to think that way. Of course there’s a purpose to everything, there’s a reason things turn out the way they do. It’s comforting knowing that there’s a plan, a destination with all of this, and that there isn’t very much use in fretting about that destination. It’s there, I just have to worry about making sure I keep moving and get there.
So whenever you feel like life is spiraling out of control, out of any sense of reality and into a sense of purposelessness, it’s always worth remembering Jer 29:11
I am all over the place. I know this fact very well, and it really manifests itself in the classes I take. I can honestly (and nerdily) say that I actually somehow enjoy splitting my brain in two and worrying about completely unrelated topics, like the gold standard and neuronal circuits. But today it all finally clicked… and I saw it in a new perspective.
I had a meeting with my research group for my Economics research project today. The group is largely a group of civil engineers that are working to implement an arsenic removal system for drinking water in a region in India. Today’s topic was how to actually implement it. My work last semester was mostly just figuring out what was going on (reading lots of papers) and making some sort of recommendation as to what has worked and what hasn’t in the past.
When we started talking, and I started talking about my recommendations, I felt the rush of blood to my face, and my hands trembling. It wasn’t nervousness, rather it was sheer passion. I was actually excited, and my mind was racing (no doubt largely due to the copious number of chocolate covered espresso beans I had just devoured).
But what sold it to me is where my mind leaped. I brought in examples I remembered from my developmental economics class. I brought up how arsenic is bad biologically (MCB 102), how reference points need to be changed to create a demand (Econ), the psychology of making decisions and making products desirable (Psych), why development projects fail, the power of using educational institutions for public health, and the power of low-cost, effective measure to bring about an actual change (mostly from MEDLIFE).
But really for once, it all made sense. I was passionate about this, about the biological reasons why this is important, about how to implement it, about how things work, about the entire scope of it all. At the end of it all, I brought up the point that the technology really needs to cover other aspects, such as E.coli in water, and how really a doctor should be involved with it all. To which a member asked “Really though, there aren’t very many doctors that would be interested in working with a bunch of engineers and economists to make this really work, are there?”
To which I answered: “I would.”
And that just put everything into perspective for me. Why I take so many random classes, why I get so excited about what most of my peers would smile at me amusedly for, why my schedule never really bothered me.
And most of all… why I should study for my neurology and immunology midterm that I have been really putting off while I stared off into space thinking about all of this under a caffeine induced brain acceleration…
Today I decided finally to clean out stuff from last semester, file away old notes, dig out old notes for other people, and generally get things ready for this semester. In doing so, I stumbled upon my stacks and stacks of French papers/notes/notebooks/research projects for the last 2 1/2 years at Cal… and it finally made me realize, I am done with French at Berkeley.
It actually hit me a few days ago, when I decided to spend one day running around campus filing all of my paperwork for majors/ minor, and I filled out my minor declaration form/ French department leaving survey. As I turned it in, Carol, the undergrad adviser, said to me, “Congratulations, it was a pleasure having you in the department!” All of a sudden, it was over; I was done with the French department.
…which in essence should be awesome, I actually completed my minor and was good to go, but in truth, it was almost unfortunate. The French department really is the only place on campus where I can walk the hallways of the offices, and pretty much all the professors can greet me by name, and where I can walk into the advising office and have Carol pull up my files without ever having to go through the robotic “last name and SID please”.
French was hard, no doubt about that, but it was actually fun. True, I was going half mad when reading French existentialism where breasts that turn into balloons, and writing 20 page papers on the meaning of Waiting for Godot or the French linguistic coding definitely were not an entirely enjoyable process, but it was still interesting; it was something OTHER than the rigmaroles of the crazy competitive science or econ classes – it was something entirely different.
After filling out my minor paperwork, I went to my MCB advising to get the major paperwork filled out, and got really excited about the prospects of Neurobiology with my adviser (who, unfortunately, won’t remember me in a week), and as I was leaving, he shook my hand and said “Welcome to MCB!” I guess it’s poetic justice that I went from one department to another, quite literally. Not that I’m complaining, MCB is going to be fun, and I’m already enjoying Econ, but it’s still odd leaving behind something that’s been constant since my first semester of Freshman year…
And of course in writing this, I’m procrastinating on all of my Neuro reading…
So today I went to the Science and Engineering Fair with Karina, Emily, Matt and Erika… just to be a kid again! We were probably the majority of the college-aged kids there, but it was fun all the same, and it was a good reminder that… science IS cool! Regardless of what all of my intro Chem, Physics and Bio classes have taught me so far…
But afterwards we went to lunch at Emily’s church, went to the roof for a view of the city, and just hung out and talked for a while. Like adults. It was a cool dichotomy, which Matt pointed out as something we could only get away with in college. Walking back through the pathways and groves on the north side of campus that are STILL new to me, I realized that interestingly enough, days like these- the days when I’m a kid and an adult- are pretty much the days that define my entire college life.
Oh what fun.
Landed in lax, flight to SFO cancelled, had to spend extra time through customs, rushed to southwest counter, standby on every flight to bay area, miraculously get through security in less than 10 minutes, get to a gate, and get on a flight that leaves in 5 mins… The adventures continue!
So internet still is spotty, so pictures will take some tome to come…
Friday we set up clinic in a community near El Chaco again, about 2 hours away from where we are staying. We set up everything nicely… and then waited… Because the president of Ecuador was making a speech in the area, and there was a lot of rain, most adults did not want to come out for the clinic. It was fine though, because in an hour we got a massive swarm of children from the local school. I was doing toothbrushing, and it was chaotic, crazy, and yet still very fun. It was an intense 2 hours of teaching nearly 200 kids how to brush their teeth, but it went by fast, and it was definitely a fun experience!
I also had a great conversation with the dentist about Ecuador’s development, but that’s going to be deserving of its own post!
Saturday was definitely one of the coolest experiences I’ve ever had. We went to Jumandy caves, a set of underground caverns with underground rivers and underground waterfalls (I think the repetition of underground should stress the fact that it was DARK!). It was really awesome being able to jump in to the water, and wading through it to get from one part of the cave to another. The best part was coming out at the end and emerging into the rain forest from this expanse of darkness. Amazon adventure!
Day ahead of me: midnight bus to Quito, day of mitad del mundo, telefericos, flight to Colombia, 5 hours in bogotá, red eye to la, 4 hour layover, flight to SFO! Hoorah! But seriously…. This trip has been awesome!
It’s hard to believe that our brigade is almost over! The last two days have been a lot of work, and very little internet… the heavy rainforest rain seems to have been having the knack of making it very spotty and laggy. To give an idea of exactly what type of location we are… When I was in town the other day, I asked on a whim if I could call los Estados Unidos, but apparently there isn’t a phone in the town that has that capability, I’d have to go to Tena to do that! But there was a chinese restaurant… so there are some comforts of home!
In any case, Wednesday, I worked on the “bathroom project”, which is a project by MEDLIFE to pursue the “development” in its acronym- we helped with an ongoing project in a community in the outskirts of Archidona, a town not too far from where we are staying. We worked on digging the holes for the foundation, moving soil around, carring rocks up hills, and carrying sacks of concrete to our location, as well as helping bend iron bars that will help set the foundation… actually pretty intense in the heat! The afternoon was spent with a hike to the river, a nap, and an evening of R&R in order to wake up at 4AM for the next day….
Today it was an early start to get to our location, a small village of about 300 people near the canton of El Chaco, which is about 2 hours away from where we are staying. The drive was through the mountainous Amazon, with some breathtaking views. We set up our clinic, which went pretty well: 88 people for a community of about 300 isn’t bad! I did vital taking, so I got to talk to some of the patients and hear about their life, and it was fun when they showed me their “main street” and their “general store” in the community… definitely a change from the city! The ride back, I rode in another van with James and the doctors, and while napping/ enjoying the scenery, the tire popped! After a debacle of changing the tire, finding the spare was low on air, waiting for a replacement, and then riding back to the hotel, we took a hike across the river behind our hotel through some forest area. It’s so crazy that we’re so close to being able to just walk through forest area!
Pictures to come soon, since the internet has not been cooperative
Days 1 and 2 at the clinic:
For the first two days of our work this week, we visited the same community of Santa Rita twice, since there were so many patients! The first day I worked in education and taking vitals, and we processed nearly 160 patients. With our next day’s work, we brought the numbers up to over 200 patients seen! Naturally, this meant for a hectic, chaotic clinic day, but it was worth it, since everyone was so eager to see the doctor. The “education” consisted of teaching women about pap smears and the benefits of getting tested yearly, and also teaching children about the proper technique in tooth brushing and the reasons why brushing your teeth is important. This went by fast, so I got to work in vitals, taking temperature for everyone that came though.
The second day was a day with the dentist, and while it was slow at first, it sure picked up with fillings and extractions. I even got to prepare and fill a tooth myself (under the guidance of the dentist there of course!). Pictures from day 2 are soon to come, since uploading has been a lot slower than expected…
It was nice to work in the same community twice, because I got to talk to some of the people for a long time, and hear what they were going through. The Ecuadorian government provides free health care for everyone, but the nearest clinic is a good hour away by infrequent bus service. Even still, the later generation has been taught to value their health, partly by efforts by MEDLIFE, a lot by efforts by the government itself, and it was so interesting to see how willing people were to go to Tena to receive health care! It was even more special since Tuesday was my birthday, and the best feeling was to do good on my birthday =)
Monday afternoon we went to Tena to walk the streets and have some street food (really good grilled meat!!), and Tuesday afternoon we soaked in the sudden rain storm (which was kind of fun… swimming in the rain!), and I got surprised by everyone at MEDLIFE for my birthday. All in all, a very good trip so far!
